Ignorance
by China Dolly
Summary: Don Wood once said that "stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed". Spencer's IQ prevents him from being stupid and even Morgan understands his feelings enough to know it is ignorance he is feigning. Knowing what Don Wood said, they are both lucky. Slash
1. Chapter 01 A  Spencer Reid

**I don't own Criminal minds**

"Good job, Reid."

Aaron Hotchner, in all his glory with a slightly ripped suit, dishevelled hair and mud covering almost every area of his body that Spencer Reid can catch sight of, smiles a small and tired smile while saying the comforting, complimenting words.

He pats Spencer on the back, two soft touches of the hands Reid wishes he could just hold in his own. He is sure that the feeling of that hand touching him will burn through his skin for at least another day. That is also not taking in account the time it will take for the memory to stop making his heart skip a beat and fill with a hope he knows he should not harbour.

Yet an ill placed and unfortunate hope is not the only thing he nowadays harbours.

And unlike the hope, his feelings towards his boss are much more dangerous and hurtful than the hope can ever be.

* * *

Another case solved, another part of the high-school attending population saved from a slow and painful death by the hands of someone so wicked it takes a toll on the entire team to get inside his mind.

Because what kind of sixteen year old teenager would kidnap his fellow students and have them cut up each other with a blunt knife? Someone sick, someone disturbed.

Someone teased that fell outside of every box he wished to belong inside but was kicked out off without mercy. It scared Spencer how much he understood the boy that had stood shaking on his feet with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Because high-school was so hard when you did not fit in. Life was so hard when you did not fit in. And Spencer Reid knows from experience how that feels.

The flight back is silent, almost everyone pretending to be asleep but they are all profilers. They know it is just pretending.

But Spencer doesn't mind, likes the silence he is allowed to bask in yet with the presence of those he holds dear near him. Because the silence here is different than the one at his apartment.

There he finds himself thinking too much, too long and about things he should not allow his mind to wonder about. At the place he should call home he finds himself going insane slowly, day by day.

Because loving someone for the first time in your life, truly loving someone, and knowing that your love is doomed to not ever be returned is emotional torture. Especially to someone like Spencer who has never trusted many persons, who never had so many persons to care for him.

And he curses fate for allowing him to fall in love with the one person he could ever have hoped to consider a father after Gideon left the team.

If only his feelings had not surfaced he could still believe in the team, his family, as he used to.

But along with the knowledge his feelings would not ever be returned shattered his trust in the team and although it did not affect his job, since he wouldn't let it, it still hurt every time he thinks of it.

Slowly he lifts his eyes, his breath catching in his throat softly when he is met with Aaron's hunched over, sleeping form. The man's expression has been caught by sleep and he has lost the stern, stoic edge he usually carries himself around with. What is left is a beautiful man with an even more gorgeous soul who looks absolutely serene.

"You okay, Kid?"

Morgan's voice is hushed, low and husky and Spencer turns his head just the tiniest bit to see his friend sitting in one of the chairs on the other side of the plane.

Spencer blinks and wonders what kind of expression must have crossed his face for Morgan to actually inquire how he is doing.

Derek's dark eyes turn to Hotch before flittering back to Reid and then he sees the worried look that haunts Morgan's face. And even though it is gone within a split-second and it could have easily been a misinterpretation Spencer knows it is not. For he has seen the expression more often than just tonight and it is both frightening and painful.

And when his own eyes settle on Derek and their gazes catch each other Spencer can't help the sad twinge of his lips. He is always lying, telling the other he is all right and he is just tired while in truth he is anything but fine.

And maybe tonight, he decides, he should just be honest. Because the slight worry that flickers on and off of Morgan his expression has become more frequent nowadays. And maybe that means that the blanket of blissful ignorance his friends have allowed themselves to be drawn underneath will be lifted.

* * *

Because the entire team, even Hotch himself, knows about his feelings.

He has tried to be smooth about it, tried so hard to pretend his feelings did not change and he is not in love with his boss. But it was, still is though, the first time he has ever loved someone with such an intensity and while he thought he sneaked glances at Aaron without the others noticing, everyone was watching him.

Watching as he had done the one thing that could possibly ruin them all.

And since the team was a family to every single one of them this possible threat was ignored, probably written off as either a crush or hero-worshipping. Both things had a big possibility of being overcome and outgrown without as much as a hitch.

Yet it grew to be so much more yet everyone knows that Spencer's feelings won't be returned. There is not the slightest chance of that because even if Aaron hadn't been almost painfully straight, he is an too honourable man to ever engage himself in a relationship with Spencer.

Because not only would it be against the rules and Aaron's own ethics of their relationship being one of superior and subordinate, it would also not be the best choice to make for Jack.

And then there is the fact that if, due to some sort of Christmas Miracle that won't happen, Hotch is to fall desperately and madly in love with him it will only be a disappointment to Reid in the end.

Because to Aaron Jack comes first and work comes second. And even though Spencer understands he will always be third if something akin to a relationship will ever be allowed to be created between the two of them, it won't be enough. It is true that he himself works at the BAU, he understands like no other the need to do the job and to do it to the best of your abilities.

And even though he would willingly accept such a thing if Aaron were to profess love to him he also knows that in the end it will mean the end of their friendship and their family.

Because Spencer doesn't want to come third with the person he loves. Because love to him is the one thing he has never had and he wants that to be the one aspect of his life to be perfect, a place where he comes first for the first time in his life.

And Reid understands why the team is ignorant, why even Hotch himself ignores the so obvious feelings of love for him from the youngest member of his team. Because when hearing you are loved is flattering and Hotch is sure to be open to the idea of something comforting him during dark, lonely and nightmare-filled nights.

And if and when that happens they will be on two different emotional levels and Aaron will kill himself slowly with guilt while Spencer wilts away with the knowledge this is as far as he will ever get in his way to Hotch his heart.

It will ruin their relationship and that is not even considering the fact Strauss may find out and then shit will really hit the fan.

No, to say Spencer does not understand why his feelings are ignored like this would be a lie. That doesn't take the feelings of hurt and betrayal away though.

* * *

"Hey, Reid?"

Morgan is calling out again and Spencer startles from the thoughts that were threatening to consume him.

He watches his friend, allows his gaze to flicker to Aaron longingly and he swallows when he turns back to Morgan.

He wants for his feelings to be acknowledged, to be able to be rejected in person so he can allow his bleeding heart to be mended piece by piece.

"I'm not all right," he mutters softly, almost brokenly and suddenly the air in the plane feels different and he is certain all members of the team have held their breath in shock.

Morgan laughs awkwardly and smiles gently at the man he considers his little brother. "It was a tough case. Maybe some rest will help." He advises, evading the subject completely.

"It's not the case." Spencer's voice sounds broken, betrayed and he lowers his eyes. "You know it's not." He whispers.

Hotch chooses that exact moment to stir and blink his eyes open.

Spencer freezes in his spot, turns to watch the man he loves with almost robotic movements and from Aaron's expression he can see the man hadn't been sleeping at all.

There is sadness there, disappointment and for the first time in his life Spencer feels his heart crack just the littlest bit.

He hugs his chest, turns his head to look out of the window and he leans his head against the headrest. He can feel tears brimming his eyes and thus he closes them, not wanting to be this weak now that he has successfully kept his mask up for such a long time.

He can hear Morgan breathe a sigh of relief and Hotchner too settles back in his chair, the air clamed with the fact Spencer decided not to speak.

"Hey, Hotch?" Reid's voice is soft and hopeful when he speaks. Because he needs to know, for his own sanity he needs to hear he isn't loved in the way he keeps hoping he is and then he can finally move on.

Because he is completely and utterly fed up with this ignorance, with this behaviour that is so unfair towards him because he is the only one getting hurt.

"Yes?" Aaron's voice is soft yet toneless, cold perhaps even and Reid flinches.

Here goes nothing, he thinks and prepares himself for the most painful blow in his life.

"I need a ride home tonight."

But the words mean so much more and Hotch knows it too. Spencer is asking for a chance, time alone with Aaron and the chance to invite him inside his apartment afterwards. He is asking to show Hotch how he feels, to try to get the man to love him in return and he holds his breath fearfully while he waits for an answer.

Hotch takes a breath. "Morgan can take you." He says, his answer resolute, his voice a bit shaky and his tone sounds so very regretful. He then stands up and goes to sit somewhere else, somewhere where he doesn't have to watch as Reid breaks down.

Spencer's heart breaks, he takes a long shuddering breath and hot tears fall down his cheeks.

He had seen it coming. He had known the moment he had fallen for Aaron Hotchner he would be rejected one day and he has asked for this himself.

And he knows that in a few months he will be all right again, that this immense pain will have subdued until there is nothing left but a longing, slightly painful ache.

He knows yet that does not stop him from worrying his lips, wishing that Morgan or JJ would just stand up and hug him because he needs that now. He wants to be held so badly because this hurts. And he doesn't want to be alone tonight, but he fears he has to.

And then suddenly, surprisingly, a strong hand clasps his shoulder and he blinks tears away and turns to look who is standing beside him.

It is Derek and he isn't even pretending to smile. His expression is grave and he slides himself into the seat next to Spencer, the hand still tightly grasping Reid's frail shoulder.

"It's all right, I'll drive you home." Morgan promises, his voice gentle and trying to sooth Spencer and the genius nods, whispering words of thanks before he is drawn into a warm embrace.

By now the emotional whirlwind that had taken rampage inside of Spencer has calmed down.

On that fateful night a week and a half ago Morgan had spend the night at his place. They had sat on the couch, side by side drinking disgusting beer and flipping through boring TV channels.

To Spencer it had been oddly comforting, a calm moment during which he was allowed to process the reality of the situation with someone by his side who would care for him no matter what his reaction would be.

And in the morning, after a night of fit-filled sleep and many tears, Reid decided his mother was due a visit.

It had gone so simple. Morgan had called Hotch, had simply informed the man Reid was taking some vacation time for a week. No questions were asked.

And before Spencer threw his bag into his car and was ready to go to the airport and take the first available flight to Las Vegas Morgan had hugged him. Had awkwardly told Spencer he was sorry, that he should have looked out for his friend better than he did.

Without a moment of doubt Reid had forgiven Morgan. He understood his ignorance after all and even though he did not agree with it, he was there for him at that moment.

Besides, Spencer wasn't one to hold a grudge.

He also knew that everyone had acted accordingly to what they thought was right and that all of them loved him in their own way, even Aaron.

And knowing they cared enough for him, the family they had created, to act in what they thought was the best interest to all of them was enough to Spencer.

Everyone makes mistakes after all.

* * *

And now, sitting at the conference table for the first day after his leave he feels giddy, relieved and yet an inkling of fear has still found its way into him too.

When he had arrived no-one really knew how to react at first.

But during his so called vacation Reid had come to terms with his rejection, with the consequences. And it still hurts to look at Aaron but he is also happy. Because things turn back to normal the moment Morgan pats his back and asks if there have been naughty things he has been up to.

Of course he hasn't, but it breaks the ice.

And he watches Hotch and the rest of the team talk through the case, he himself contributing without truly thinking yet for this one time he feels he is forgiven.

And then everyone is rushing out of the room, ready to grab their things and then go to solve another case.

Yet Hotch stays seated and Spencer, after a moment of doubt, lingers in the doorway.

He turns around, watching Aaron with a gentle expression. "Hey, Hotch?" He calls out.

Hotchner looks up then, his eyes widened slightly and his expression is a bit anxious, guilty and somewhat sad.

It is not an expression that fits Aaron and even though Reid is glad the man feels this way, because at least he isn't the only one hurt, he doesn't like it one bit.

Because if he can't have Aaron Hotchner in the way he wants, the least he can wish for is for the team to be all right again.

So he musters a small grin to his lips and he says: "Wheels up in twenty, you better hurry."

A light-hearted comment, perhaps a teasing one but above all it is the one sentence that lets Hotch know he is forgiven. That Spencer is moving on.

And the smallest of smiles comes to Aaron's lips and he nods, curtly yet relief washes over his face. "Thank you." He says.

And without another word Spencer turns around and walks back to the bullpen, waving away Morgan's questioning look with a half-smile and he sits in the chair at his desk, turning it around and watching as Aaron disappears into his office.

The man is quick to get back, files in his hands and he stands silent in the doorway for a second, his gaze catching Spencer's.

They watch silently for a few seconds, Reid finding closure in the fact Aaron is still his own self and Hotch himself being relieved of some of his guilt because Spencer is doing fine.

The man then starts making his way to the elevator. "Come on guys, let's go." He calls out to them and the entire team stands up, ready to leave.

And Spencer follows closely behind, watches amusedly as everyone tries to fit themselves into the elevator and when he catches Morgan's dark gaze he smiles.

Because everything is on its way to being all right again.

**The End**


	2. Chapter 01 B Derek Morgan

**Disclaimer**: I don't own

**Chapter 01 B – **_Derek Morgan_

A soft intake of breath seems to echo through the plane and Derek Morgan looks up from the book he's been staring at for the past five minutes.

He knows where to look, who's eyes to search for and the book lays forgotten in his hands while his eyes watch pale skin and half-long, light-brown hair, his brain telling him it is better to look away. But as always, he can't help it.

He finds himself studying Spencer Reid and the profile of the face is as beautiful as it ever is, the dimmed lights in the plane high-lighting the pale skin and it takes Derek Morgan's breath away. It always does.

Silently he follows Spencer's gaze and his expression, that had been gentle, changes into one that is not quite anger or jealousy but words are lacking to call it otherwise.

Aaron Hotchner, the man across Spencer, sits slumbering what seems to be peacefully. But Derek knows the man is awake, feigning sleep as most of them seem to do on this plane.

And Morgan knows that Aaron isn't stupid, he is Unit Chief after all. Derek knows that the man feels Spencer's eyes on him, always feels the genius's eyes on him and yet nothing is done, mouths are kept shut and Spencer is left alone to suffer.

They all have different reasons for their silence but Derek can only guess. He hasn't asked the others nor have they spoken about Spencer's lasting infatuation with their boss. A mere glance across the table when Spencer's eyes were drawn, yet again, to Hotch a few weeks ago had been enough for all to realize that this could be the downfall of the team as they knew it.

Yet he knows why he himself lets Reid down over and over again. Cowardice, and even though he wishes it weren't he knows too much about human emotions not to call his behaviour by its real name.

Because asking Spencer what is wrong with him, even though they all know, is not only forcing Reid to come to terms with his feelings and the rejection he is facing.

The moment Morgan found out there were feelings inside of him that crossed the line of mere friendship or brotherhood towards Spencer Reid, he had been so shocked and a little scared. There have never been many persons in his life for whom Derek had held romantic feelings and never has he pursued a love interest.

He is not the type for a relationship, doesn't find himself stable enough for one and thinking he now had a silly, if not somewhat scary, crush on his co-worker had ruined his evening rather than making it better.

Yet Spencer had been all he thought about and suddenly the silly crush had turned into falling in love and that had slowly yet securely settled in a love which Derek soon came to realize would probably never be returned.

They were a sad bunch, the two of them. Both in love yet both knowing it would never be returned. Reid knowing so because Hotch is not into men, will probably not ever consider liking a man and even if he did, he is too honourable a guy to actually start a relationship with a co-worker.

And Derek knows because every time he finds himself watching Reid, the young man is watching Aaron with admiration and love shining in those beautiful eyes.

If only such feelings could ever be held for him, Morgan finds himself thinking quite often.

Thus he is a coward and the coat fits him well, too well he fears. For he knows that as a friend he should be there for Spencer yet he finds himself withdrawing even before he tries to get near.

He allows his eyes to focus on Spencer again and a sad smile finds its way to Morgan's lips.

"You okay, Kid?"

Derek finds himself speaking in a hushed tone before he realizes it and he is slightly nervous while he waits for the young man to react.

He sees Spencer turn his head slightly to look at him when he's being spoken to.

He watches the genius for a few seconds and then finds his eyes flittering to Hotch before turning themselves back to Reid. They both know what he's saying with just that one glance and Morgan knows he is just adding oil to a fire he would rather put out, but he simply can't help himself.

Derek represses the urge to gasp when he is caught by gorgeous hazel eyes and his heart aches in his chest when Spencer's lips curl down in a sad smile.

Their stare is broken suddenly when Spencer lowers his eyes and from the slight, unconscious pull of Reid's thin lips he can easily see the man is sinking deeper and deeper into thoughts.

Derek watches in complete silence as the other man thinks.

Before falling for Spencer Morgan had never even considered the fact he could ever fall for a male. He loved a women's curves, the softness of their skin and even though he sometimes jokes Spencer is effeminate, he is definitely male and possess strong features to prove that for him.

It is also strange to Derek that of all the men he could have fallen for, it had been Spencer. Because when it comes to women, Morgan doesn't like the geeky ones that talk too much when nervous and are awkward when shy. In fact, after thinking his attraction to a male for the first time in his life through he had been surprised Aaron hadn't been the one to catch his interest.

Yet now, after analyzing situations and profiling emotions in silence he understands his heart's decision even though he still doesn't quite agree with it.

Because where Aaron Hotchner seems to be the man that is the leader, the strong one who has everything in control and going for him he isn't by far. His marriage has fallen apart and cracks are forming in his mask of strength.

Spencer Reid, though, is the total opposite of that. He looks weak, geeky and submissive and even though he will never be a leader he possess strength within him that Morgan envies, that he feels attracted to.

And now that he is thinking about it, even the ramblings he finds attractive because Reid always shines when he is allowed to ramble, allowed to be passionate and do what he does best.

And it is Spencer's strength that Morgan finds attractive, the fact he's grown up so fast but still acts like a child sometimes which he finds endearing and when Spencer is rambling and afterwards smiling he finds himself falling in love all over again.

Because Reid may be geeky and awkward, but perhaps that's what Derek is truly attracted to. Maybe that's why all the women he ever went home with – because no women ever set foot in his home – were exactly the opposite of that.

Because he wouldn't allow himself to get what he truly wanted in fear of his own feelings.

And afraid he is, because a broken heart is the last thing he wants yet he fears, and deep down knows, it is what both of them will end up with.

Suddenly he sees the unhappy expression that settles on Reid's face. Immediately his thoughts are forgotten because the expression worries him. He then thinks that while both had sunk into thoughts his question has not been answered and after just a few seconds he finds himself calling out again. "Hey, Reid?"

He sees Spencer's shoulder tense, his head being raised as if he is a kicked puppy and his gaze flickers to where Hotch is sitting.

Morgan's lips are pulled in a tight line when Spencer turns to watch him yet his expression changes into worry the moment he sees the young man swallow.

"I'm not all right." Spencer mutters softly, brokenly and Morgan feels like throwing up.

What is he doing? Why is he forcing Spencer come clean with his feelings only to have Hotch break his heart? It is unfair and selfish of him to even have asked.

Because no matter if he says this is for Reid's well-being, it isn't at all. To Morgan, this is about Aaron finally opening his eyes and denying Spencer's love so Derek can pick up the pieces.

And, Derek decides, it is unfair of him to force Spencer this way. It is wrong to want to have Spencer's feelings crushed even though it means the slightest inkling of a chance will then open up for him

No, he decides, he is a better friend than that and even though he doesn't like it one bit, ignorance is the best for this moment. Because in the end that will hurt the littlest for Spencer.

He forces a laugh out of his throat but it sounds awkward even to his own ears so he settles for a gentle smile instead. "It was a tough case. Maybe some rest will help."

His heart aches and he reminds himself that this is for the best, this is for Spencer and thus it is worth it.

"It's not the case." Spencer suddenly retorts, his tone making it very clear he feels betrayed by Morgan's words and Derek flinches when the genius lowers his eyes. "You know it's not."

That whisper, that accusing whisper that tells Morgan he has yet again disappointed Spencer, sends a wave of guilt through the dark man's body.

And suddenly he hears Spencer turn and his gaze is directed to the genius quickly. He sees the blank expression on Reid's face and from the corner of his eye sees that Aaron has opened his eyes.

'Oh Spencer, what have you done?' He finds himself thinking.

Yet, as if Reid himself heard his silent question, the genius hugs his chest and turns to look out of the window with his head resting against his chair.

Morgan wants to do nothing more than rush over to Spencer and take the man into his arms, whisper in his ear that it will all be all right, that he is there when Reid needs him. All he needs to do is ask because Morgan can't find the strength within him to do it himself.

Because he is afraid himself of a heart that will be broken.

A soft sigh passes his lips yet he freezes again in his seat when Spencer calls out, his voice soft and hopeful. "Hey Hotch?"

"Yes?"

Hotch his voice is like a blur to Morgan and he is ready to punch the man when he sees Reid flinch at the cold tone.

He balls his fists and holds his breath.

He understands so damned well why Reid is taking his chances now. There have been so many times when he himself was about to blurt out a love-confession to Reid only to be reminded yet again the heart he yearns for is already given away.

And again, he finds himself drawn to Spencer. For the strength the man has, the courage to speak for himself and he doesn't need to hear Reid asking for a ride home from Hotch in that shaky tone to know what he wants.

Because asking for a ride means so much more when Reid asks it from Hotch and Derek can't help but feel jealous.

He is the one that drives Spencer home most of the time. He is the one that is entitled to that right and asking him has never been a problem for Reid, has never meant this much to him.

Yet it is not the ride home that is important right now, and Morgan realizes that.

Because if Hotch agrees, it means he is giving Reid the chance at love he is asking for and that means he will be without a chance to ever capture the genius his heart.

'Please,' he finds himself begging Lady Luck in silence, 'please let Hotch turn him down.'

He knows it is unfair to Spencer, that it will break the genius's heart if he is turned down and that it is such a selfish and egoistic thing to ask for. If you truly love someone you want them to be happy.

But Derek wants Spencer to be happy. There is not and should not be a single doubt about that fact. He merely wants Reid happy with him, instead of with Hotchner.

"Morgan can take you."

Derek both blesses and cruses the words and thinks Aaron Hotchner is perhaps even a bigger coward than he is for walking away at this moment. He should be there for Spencer after turning him down so cruelly but he leaves him to Derek.

Because Aaron knows that Derek loves Spencer the way he deserves to be loved and while Morgan hates it that Spencer's heart is broken, that he has been rejected he is so grateful for this chance, for this opportunity.

And while Morgan's dark eyes watch Hotch's retreating back he can't help but feel slightly thankful for the man's silent support as well. Because leaving Spencer on his own yet with all doors wide open for Derek to step in and comfort the man he desires to comfort means Aaron is approving of whatever ways of comforting Morgan has in mind for the genius.

And to Morgan, that's the one thing that comes closest to support he thinks he'll ever see from Hotch.

* * *

That night is the first time Morgan spends the night at Spencer's place and even though the reason isn't so fortunate, he is excited.

He has never before seen Reid's place and he is a bit stunned to find it exactly how he had imagined it to be. Shabby couch that looks regularly used for both sitting and sleeping on, books and papers littering all possible tables and chairs, except for the couch, and a stash of coffee and sugar in the kitchen-cupboards that would put the nearest Wall Mart's collection of caffeine and sugar holding products to shame. It is almost a painful reflectance of Reid's personality and Morgan finds himself amused because of it.

"You want a drink?"

And Morgan does, something strong if he has a say in it, but he decides to simply ask for a beer.

They settle on the couch, Discovery Channel playing in the background and they sit silently side by side for what seems like ages.

Morgan isn't sure what Spencer is thinking about, doesn't even want to know for he is sure the man's thoughts are filled with Aaron. Someone Derek doesn't want to think about right now.

Suddenly, although he should really have seen it coming, he hears a soft sob, followed by a hitch of Spencer's breath.

For a few seconds Derek sits frozen in his seat, not knowing what to do yet at the same time wanting nothing more than to hold the genius in his arms, tell him there is someone that cares about him, loves him even.

Yet no good will come of telling Spencer of his feelings right now and he swallows while trying to think of what to do.

He turns his head a bit to look at Reid and the genius turns his downcast face up a bit.

Tears stain pale cheeks and a forced smile tries to assure Derek he shouldn't worry. "I- I'm sorry." Spencer mutters.

Derek frowns, reaches out his hand to place it onto Spencer's shoulder in a comforting touch but he pulls away hesitantly before even touching the genius. "Sorry?" He asks instead. "Kid, you shouldn't be."

But Reid merely shakes his head, his small and seemingly fragile frame shaking just the littlest bit and he raises one of his hands to place it against the side of his face, hiding it from Derek's view. "I'm sure Hotch thinks of me that way, too." He mutters softly to himself.

Derek's mind is racing a mile a minute. What on earth could Spencer imagine Hotch would think about him that brings forth such a tone?

"Reid," he starts, uncertainty clear in his voice and he reaches out again only to let his hand hover above Spencer's shoulder. He's not sure what reaction touching Spencer will ignite, both from Spencer and himself.

Because Reid's vulnerable right now, heartbroken and Derek is afraid that if he holds Spencer, he'll refuse to let go.

But suddenly Spencer whispers: "I'm just a geeky kid, after all."

And Derek knows what to do, knew from the beginning what to do and he refuses to let his feelings ruin his friendship with Spencer any longer.

"You are," he says, agreeing with Spencer and when the genius holds his breath he pulls the lanky man into his arms. Reid immediately burying his head against Morgan's broad shoulder and the man presses one of his hands against Spencer's back while the other one gentle rests upon brown hair. "But that's the best side of you. Hotch is missing out, man."

A somewhat bitter laugh passes Spencer's lips and he mutters: "I'm sure he doesn't see it that way."

Derek tightens his hold on Reid and rests his chin on top of soft, brown hair which smells vaguely like pine and cinnamon. He doesn't quite know how to answer, he wants to comfort Reid but all he feels like saying is something that will make Hotch look bad.

Reid takes a shuddering breath. "Never would have thought this could hurt more than getting shot." He whispers, more to himself than at Derek.

Yet Morgan feels his heart clench, knows the feeling that's coursing through Spencer and he finds himself whispering: "The pain will fade."

Reid tense. "But –" he starts, but Derek interrupts him.

"Trust me." Morgan says softly, his hold on Spencer tightening. "I know."

Reid stills and Derek realizes he must wonder what his words mean, why he's saying them and if they're the truth.

And he is amazed that even though he's broken the man's trust over and over again by ignoring his pain, Spencer respects his own boundaries and respects the words without a further explanation.

He merely takes a few deep breaths, awkwardly pats Morgan's shoulder with the wide, half-smile on his face that always seems to be there when he's displeased with himself, and he nods. "Thanks."

He then turns to sit normally on the couch again, his shoulders still shaking slightly and his side touching Morgan's.

And that reaction makes Derek love him even more.

**TBC.**


	3. Chapter 02 A  Spencer Reid

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Criminal Minds

**Chapter 02 A** – _Spencer Reid_

The sound of his doorbell being rung fills the apartment and, cursing silently under his breath, Spencer cast a quick glance to the clock hanging in his kitchen.

Eight in the morning.

A sigh passes his lips and quickly Reid makes his way to the front door. It's bound to be Morgan, he tells himself.

The man promised to pick him up for work yesterday after, again, dropping Spencer off on his way home. Morgan had been doing that for the past week, ever since Reid had returned from his short trip to Las Vegas.

Spencer appreciates that and the first time Derek had offered he'd jumped at the chance of not having to travel by public transport and not arriving at the BAU alone.

If he is honest, Aaron's rejection has hit him hard and because of the emotional strain it takes him to get out of bed every morning, to live his life, he is tired most of the time. Having not to worry about dragging himself to work is a relief as well as a safer option to other road-users.

"Hey,"

Spencer smiles a bit uncomfortably when he opens the door, revealing a yawning Derek standing on his doorstep.

"Morning, Kid." The dark man greets and nods towards the direction of the elevators. "Your landlady held the door for me. Lovely lady."

Spencer grins, stepping aside to allow Morgan the opportunity to enter his apartment. "Her son moved away a year ago, she misses him." He says before darting into his kitchen. "I'm running late, make yourself at home." He calls out.

For the next five-or-so minutes he busies himself about his apartment to gather his things, ready his go-bag and shove some sugar-coated cereal down his throat which shouldn't be allowed to be named breakfast.

"You're going for a sugar-rush that'll last until lunch?" Morgan asks teasingly from the kitchen-doorway.

Spencer looks up, his spoon shoved into his mouth and bowl of cereal in his free hand, and swallows. He chuckles at Derek's statement and in an amused voice says: "Lunch? I'm hoping I'll last until my first coffee."

He's always had a thing for sugar yet nowadays eating it kept him perky and lively.

It wasn't that he couldn't live his life anymore. Things just seemed a bit more dull for a while and Spencer knew it would pass when his sub-consciousness got over the fact Aaron would never love him.

Because even though he wasn't a sobbing mess, didn't break down when seeing Hotch, that didn't mean he wasn't hurting. Because every time he saw Aaron his heart ached yet it was something that had faded slightly and he knew it wasn't the end of his life.

Minutes later, with the dashes standing dirty in the sink and clothes still loitering his bedroom floor, Derek and he are on his way to the BAU.

While Morgan drives, Spencer fumbles with the radio. He sits back in his chair, satisfied, when a soft jazz sounds from the speakers and he sighs, almost happily. "Thanks for picking me up." He says with a small smile.

To him, though, it means more. Because he wants to thank Derek for being his support, for comforting him when he's at his lowest and for picking him up every morning to ensure Spencer that even though Hotch doesn't love him, he's not alone.

Derek chuckles and shakes his head. "Don't mention it." He replies.

And Spencer leans his head against the head-rest with a grin, grateful he's got a friend like Morgan who cares so much.

**TBC.**


	4. Chapter 02 B Derek Morgan

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Criminal Minds

**Chapter 02 B** ~ _Derek Morgan_

As he rushes through morning-traffic Derek wonders what had possessed him when he had offered Reid a ride.

Again, just like he had the day before and the day before that and so on, and so forth.

It wasn't that he doesn't like picking up Spencer. In fact, he'd do it every day the rest of his working life if he got the chance. It is merely hard, seeing Reid drag himself to work every day. It makes his hands itch with the urge to deck Hotch.

Not that decking his boss is such a bright idea but then again, falling for your younger colleague wasn't the smartest of moves either.

A soft sigh passes Derek's lips as he pulls up in front of Spencer's apartment building. Even though it's a bit of a hassle to get up earlier in the morning and rush through every routine he has because when his alarm went off he turned around for 'just five more minutes' he still thinks it's worth it.

Of course, to him Spencer's worth so much more yet this act of friendship is as far as he can go right now. But, Derek has already decided that the moment Spencer's done grieving and he has gotten over Hotch, he will take his own chance and hope for the best.

But doing so while Spencer is still in love with Hotch will only result in heartbreak and that is a thing he wants to avoid.

"Come on in, dear."

When he is about to ring for Spencer an older lady opens the door for him with a small smile.

Derek smiles upon entering. "Thank you,"

"Oh, you're welcome. You are here to pick up the doctor, right?" She asks, chuckling to herself. "He's a doll, but definitely needs someone to look after him."

For a second Morgan wonders how much contact Spencer has with his down-stairs neighbour when suddenly he's nudged in the side by the grey-haired woman.

"You go up there, hurry. Don't let him wait, dear." She says.

Derek chuckles and when he is about to enter the elevator he hears her call out: "You take good care of the doctor, dear."

He stumbles in surprise, turns to look back but the woman is already gone.

A bit flustered at the statement, for there is nothing he'd rather do than take good care of Spencer, he resumes his way to Reid's apartment.

"Hey,"

Derek yawns just as Spencer opens the door and he tries to hide it behind the back of his hand. He does feel a slight flutter in his chest, though. But that's a normal occurrence nowadays upon seeing Spencer in the morning with slightly tousled hair and a smile on his kissable lips.

"Morning, Kid." Derek says and, remembering he was let in by someone else than Spencer, points to the elevator he just got out off. "Your landlady held the door for me. Lovely lady."

"Her son moved away a year ago, she misses him." Spencer says and Derek nods while moving himself inside of the genius's apartment but Reid is already darted off to somewhere, calling out: "I'm running late, make yourself at home."

Morgan does, he sits down onto the couch and waits for a few minutes, his eyes travelling across the – by now – familiar decor of Spencer's apartment.

Suddenly he hears rustling from the kitchen and with a grin playing on his lips he stands up to check on the other.

He finds Spencer eating cereal and he can't help but tease the sugar-loving genius a bit. "You're going for a sugar-rush that'll last until lunch?"

When he turns around, Spencer looks the meaning of the word ridiculous with his spoon shoved into his mouth and bowl of cereal in his free hand. But that's forgotten the moment he chuckles, sending tingling down Morgan's spine.

"Lunch? I'm hoping I'll last until my first coffee." Spencer jokes and Derek can't help but smile.

He really doesn't mind picking Reid up in the morning.

**TBC.**


End file.
